How to Make Your Divorce Smoother

The idea of getting a divorce can be depressing, frustrating, and intimidating at the same time. Not only did you never expect to separate from the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, but if you’ve built a life together – especially if you have children – your life will be disrupted both physically and emotionally.

Even if you and your partner are in communication and on decent terms, you can expect to be shaken up a bit while you process your emotions and start to create a new life. There’s nothing easy about divorce, but there are ways to make the process a little smoother.

Hire a divorce attorney to handle the legal aspect

Your life will get infinitely easier when you hire a family law attorney to handle your divorce. Along the way, you’re going to have a lot of questions regarding what might happen and what your best options are throughout the process.

For example, when presented with options for splitting property, you might not know if you’re getting a fair deal because property is often split after accounting for each person’s income.

An attorney will give you peace of mind by answering all of your questions and supporting you along the way. They’ll help sort out the details when filling out various forms of paperwork, like child custody agreements, postnuptial agreements, wills, and more.

Don’t talk down about your ex in front of your kids

No matter how right you might be in your situation, never talk down about your ex in front of your children. Just because you don’t get along doesn’t mean your kids need to take your side. If you create a divide between your child and your ex, they will probably grow up feeling bitterness and anger toward them, which can harm their relationship. That’s not fair to your kids.

If your ex is physically or sexually abusive, that’s a little different. If you share custody, your kids have the right to know about the abuse if you’re the target. Hopefully, if this is the case, you’ll be seeking full custody. Even if your child knows about the abuse, don’t make it a point to badmouth your ex nonstop. Your kids can be aware of the situation without you dragging your ex under the bus at every chance. Trash-talking your ex constantly will only increase the amount of anxiety and negativity your kids feel, and that’s not fair to them.

Find an agreeable way to communicate

Even though you both may have your own attorneys, you’ll still need to communicate directly to some degree. You can’t completely ignore your ex until your divorce has been finalized. However, if you approach communication with anger or frustration, it could get messy.

To make the process easier, find a way to communicate that works for both of you. For example, you may find Facebook messenger or text messages easy to manage. Make the decision together and then stick to your agreement. If you’re not sure what to say when you need to deliver a message, ask a friend or therapist for help. No matter how you communicate, avoid being inflammatory to keep the peace as much as possible.

Try mediation

While some people benefit from therapy to repair their marriage, if that’s not for you, try divorce mediation. A mediator will act as a neutral party who listens to both of you with the intention of helping you find solutions that work for all. They will come up with ideas and compromises. It’s nice to have input from a neutral third party because they aren’t emotionally involved, so they might see options you don’t realize exist.

Stay focused on building your new life

Throughout your divorce, you’ll feel better if you stay focused on building your new life. Do things that will make you happy in the long term when you get settled. For instance, pick out your next home, buy some nice sheets, and get those fancy curtains you’ve been eyeing online. Take the opportunity to decorate your new home in a new style. Do whatever it takes to surround yourself with beauty and positive influences.

You can’t avoid the emotional impact of a divorce, but you can make the process a little easier by building your new life. It will give you something to look forward to as your paperwork is completed and your divorce is finalized.

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