Although learning how to control fire several hundred thousands years ago was an event that completely changed our lives, today, we take it for granted. Why wouldn’t we? Almost every single one of us has access to tools that just several centuries ago would equate us to gods. It doesn’t mean though, that from time to time we don’t need a little affection, and there is nothing that will be better in providing us as much love as we can handle as dogs.
The problem that every future-dog-owner has to face is: how to name your puppy? It seems like an easy choice until you have to decide what to choose. Should you call your dog after your dead great grandfather, or maybe it’s better to call him your own name? In a minute, you’ll learn which pet names are best for your dog!
Have you ever strolled leisurely around your neighborhood, only to suddenly hear someone ominously shouting “Star Destroyer 3000!” ? Sometimes it signals the beginning of the long-awaited invasion of the extraterrestrial race and the end of humanity. At other times, though, it’s just your neighbor Steve cautioning his sweet Maltese about the importance of safety when there are speeding cars nearby.
You shouldn’t name your dog in any way that could lead to any unnecessary confusion. Although naming your dog “Fire” would almost certainly give him unnatural strength, it should be done only if you are living alone on an island. Otherwise, you’ll cause a lot of stress to your neighbors. No, “The Abomination From The Outer Space” isn’t a great idea either.
Avoid long names!
You should keep the name of your dog short. It’s not only because you’ll get tired of shouting it while trying to catch up with him before the claws of a hawk do. Instead, your dog may have trouble understanding you. If you get sad easily, skip the next few lines, but dogs don’t actually recognize their own names; it’s more like a reaction to a verbal command, a cue to an appropriate response. It is the easiest to combine particular stimuli, e.g. sounds with a response when it’s not complicated.
If you are absolutely hell-bent on naming your dog after your honorable uncle, Sir Horace Ichabod Thompson, then think about some way to simplify it for everyday use.
On a similar note, you should also avoid choosing a name like “Slit”, “Bait”, or “Stray”. Nothing wrong about them, but they sound awfully like commands you’ll be using later, and will lead to confusion and misunderstanding.
Oftentimes the best name is that which is based on the physical appearance of your dog. Does your look dog look like he could devour a sheep in 2 bites, perhaps 3 if the sheep is unusually big? Call him “Tiny”, or “Dolly”. I know that “Warmachine” would be more appropriate, but c’mon, let’s have some fun! Alternatively, you could name you tiny dog “Eugene Ichabod the II”.
Some dog owners choose a name that reminds them of the day they first met their dog. Perhaps “Bushes” if they first met him on a trip to a desert, or “Clubs” if they rescued the dog from the hands of the bandits after a short and intense battle with primitive weapons.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be directly related to the dog. Perhaps when you were younger, you’ve spent a considerable amount of time in Hawaii. The chances are that if you start screaming “Volcano!” in London, you won’t cause any panic. Volcanoes aren’t exactly known to be particularly stealthy.
Avoid offensive names
We all know that H.P. Lovecraft didn’t have any qualms about calling the pets in his stories offensive names, but it was a long time ago. Nowadays, following his lead wouldn’t be a great choice. Stay away from racial slurs, swears, and all the possible versions of “Fartshit”. No, it doesn’t have a certain ring to it.
Only a person that never had to name their dog would say that this is an easy task. Just because you won’t break a sweat doesn’t mean it’s not challenging. Your dog will be your companion for many years to come, and long after his demise, his name will hold a special place in your heart. Names don’t define us, but in our brains, the names of our loved ones are inseparably connected with everything they represent. And it’s the same with the animals.